It’s not cannon, and it’s not true. But here’s a little festive short story for you:
Have a look at what you could have won
October 11, 2011 – 7:30 pm
We’re a good few thousand words into what will become Pier Review: the book, but to keep you interested (and to hopefully make sure that you sign up to our email or Twitter or something) here’s a quick look at what you may have got if you’d signed up for the postcard option. Here’s the picture side of every postcard we sent (the writing sides remain for our lovely funders):
And we’ve also made our secret blog open to all, you can read some behind-the-scenes stuff now.
Highlights may include Jon getting increasingly melancholic and Danny getting drunker.
Pier Review on the radio again
September 22, 2011 – 9:24 pm
So we haven’t posted here much, all the content while we’re on tour is going on the paid for blog and Twitter (as that’s much easier than here). As an update we’ve only two more piers to go…
But we did find time to do Andrew and Josie show again last Saturday, which seems like a million years ago. Just had chance thanks to the very luxurious campsite to download and clip it:
Pier Review on the radio
September 10, 2011 – 10:59 pm
We were lucky enough to get the chance to talk to the great Andrew Collins and Josie Long on 6 Music, even if the feature is called ‘geek of the week’. This is what we sounded like:
Where the brass bands play, tiddly om pom-pom
September 7, 2011 – 5:49 pm
One of the the main points of difference between the three of us was and is going to be music. To prevent us killing each other, we have decided on a veto system, where if someone doesn’t like a song he can nominate a veto, if this is seconded by someone else then the song is skipped. The crowdsourced playlist we set up on Spotify is a gamble so last night I (Danny) took a look at what we’ve ended up with. You can still add to the playlist here.
All links in this post are spotify, sorry, but a google will turn up individual songs on youtubes probably.
Squeeze – Pulling Mussels (From The Shell) – Both a resigned and lilting pop new-wave ditty. Squeeze always managed bring a wry poetry to the kitchen sink reality they sung about.
The Kinks – The Village Green Preservation Society – Stereo Version – The Kinks occasionally veered too much in the twee for me, but this song’s a classic and nails a sense of Britain we will be drawing heavily on for the book.
George Formby – With My Little Stick Of Blackpool Rock – Smut. Filthy song about a rampaging sex offender that terrorizes ‘the kids’ with his oozing penis.
Belle & Sebastian – The Chalet Lines – Depressing and sweary, a tragic tale that Jon promises will be the trip’s anthem. I hope not.
Broken Social Scene – 7/4 (Shoreline) – Well-produced sweeping up tempo rock with minimal vocals. Imagine driving a coastal road during sunset sipping vodka from a watermelon.
Aim – From A Seaside Town – lovely bit of looped soundscapey trip-hop, would have worked better as a backing beat for someone to rap over. As it is it just has a man saying ‘uh’ and ‘yeah’ occasionally.
Toy Dolls – You Won’t Be Merry On A North Sea Ferry – Silly proto-pop punk from a punk band brave enough to not take it all very seriously and smart enough to learn how to play their instruments.
Martha & The Muffins – Echo Beach – Stone cold classic one hit wonder. From an era when every song *had* to include a saxophone. Echo beach isn’t a real place just a point ‘far away in time’ which resonates with our journey to find a seaside that maybe only ever existed in our memories.
Yello – To The Sea – Off beat dance pop with ethereal child like vocals from Switzerland, like an A.I. trying to beat the Turing test by pretending to be Björk.
Gorillaz – Superfast Jellyfish (Feat. Gruff Rhys and De La Soul) – Gorillaz work best when they get out of their own way, when they’re too eager to prove how clever they are the music loses its off beat novelty and become almost purposely obtuse. So it’s always the collaborations like this one where they shine.
The Dandy Warhols – Every Day Should Be A Holiday – Sounds familiar, it could be the vaguely Madchester Baggy sound with only the background flange squirts to give away that its not. Or it could be familiar because knowing the band its probably been used in a thousand film soundtracks and adverts.
Rilo Kiley – Close Call – Folksy Indie Pop Rock, nuanced vocals and solid songwriting. Sounds very nineties. Uplifting for a hungover morning packing the car and teasing Jon for the shit he got up to.
Anne Briggs – Sandman’s Song – traditional sad folk, not for me, but could be good for that same hungover morning when I’m being sick in a ditch. Soothing.
Ramones – Rockaway Beach - Surf punk from the quintessential New York band, about a beach in Queens. Apparently the largest urban beach in America.
The B-52′s – Rock Lobster – Campy beehive pop rock epic, silly fun with a great guitar hook. a well deserved classic.
God Is A Lobster – God Is A Lobster – Weird drum and Bass teardown of above, not completely unlistenable.
Bon Iver – Beach Baby – lush gentle folk, quite sweet if somewhat short.
T-Spoon – Sex On The Beach – Original Mix – All the fun of water thin pop reggae with added pan pipes. Painfully bland and seemingly never ending.
Beck – Electric Music And The Summer People – Bottom heavy fuzz with a juxtaposed upbeat vocal track, like a drugged cult member trying to prove how happy he his by singing over a techno dirge.
The Band Of Holy Joy – Prams Piers Bitter Tears - Fairground nightmare music.
Dead Kennedys – Holiday in Cambodia – Hardcore punk with spangle steel guitar and a searing, driving riff. Sometimes only the angry political sneer of Jello Biafra will do.
10cc – Dreadlock Holiday - Is this song slightly racist? Does it matter if its catchy?
Billy Holiday – Summertime – When I think about the amount of times this song has probably been murdered by some sincere fame hungry bibble head in an X-factor it makes my soul sad. Each one should be made to be tied down and listen to this in an empty room until they want to off themselves.
Manic Street Preachers – Elvis Impersonator: Blackpool Pier – Manics, Elvis, Blackpool Pier? this one is for Jon really but, even though I’m loath to admit it, I quite like this one. One of the things that has always turned me off about the Manics is the hand wringing politics, mercifully free of that here.
Late of the Pier – Mad Dogs And Englishmen - Jerky synth dance rock, too cool for me I’m afraid. I suspect that they have haircuts and wear tight jeans.
Sparks – Kiss Me Quick 80’s album filler from the normally interesting pair of odd pockets, the soundtrack to an montage of people looking at shoes in a terrible film.
Billie Davis – Billy Sunshine – sixties teeny soul with nice musical touches. Inoffensive but not in a bad way.
Polecats – Marie Celeste – Rockabilly is like the Internet in that both are obsessed with cats. Actually its a failed new years resolution of mine to refer to people as ‘cats’ more.
Camera Obscura – French Navy – Swelling Scottish Indie anthem so well produced and timeless that it could have still charted in the fifties and still sound fresh.
The Beach Boys – Lonely Sea – Anyone who doesn’t like The Beach Boys doesn’t own a soul. In fact Pet Sounds could be used as a reliable Turing test.
Silversun Pickups – Lazy Eye – Wonderful fuzz shoe-rock dream-gaze. Sounds like
someone noticing the summer dying and trying to give it mouth to mouth by one final act of childish rage and rebellion. The mellow red of the setting sun drips out of every guitar squeak and spangle.
We set off next Monday, there’s a goodbye party on Sunday night (facebook link) and still time to kick a little cash our way HERE
Celluloid heroes
September 6, 2011 – 9:42 am
A city boy is much more likely to see the sea at 24 frames a second than in real life. Here’s some of the misshapen memories that will affect our journey:
That’ll be the Day
The Punch and Judy Man
Carry on at Your Convenience
Holiday on the Buses
Wish You Were Here
Quadrophenia
Brighton Rock
Pier and loathing
September 5, 2011 – 9:50 pm
I’ve not been researching the actual destinations of our pier trip, that’s something I can do when I get back—retro-fitting the history to whatever theories float across my transom. What I have been doing though is getting into the mindset of the travel writer, or at least the writer who travels. What I’m after is to become practised at building a feeling of a place quickly, these books do it well and they’re something like what I’m pitching for (I recommend them all):
Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72
An English Journey
Park and Ride
Bad Wisdom: The Lighthouse at the Top of the World
Chavs: The Demonization of the Working Class
The Road to Wigan Pier
Wish us luck as we wave you goodbye
September 5, 2011 – 11:10 am
You’re all enablers, you know that right?
Two starry eyed artists, and infamous dipsomaniacs Shanghai an impressionable punk into doing something that makes no real sense, and not only do you not phone the relevant authorities but actually give us money and put up with us banging on about it.
When faced with the enormity of the task It occurs to us that writing a book will be easy compared to expressing how both surprised and incredibly grateful we are for all of your support and patience. Our own sloppy planning and unrealistic worldview will definitely be somewhat mitigated by the money and help given to us in the run up to this mad thing.
And now its upon us, in exactly one week, with your help, we are actually going. A trip of this import deserves a send off and it will give us the chance to shake your hand and thank you in person, for a couple of people that have a reputation for not taking things very seriously its important you can see our non-smirking faces when we thank you.
We will be at the Station Pub in King’s Heath from about 3pm on Sunday, and will hang round most of the evening, please come and buy us a drink.
Danny, Jon & Midge
(its also a good opportunity to bring any unwanted road food, bottles of cheap spirits or other bits and bobs that you might think are helpful)
The Budget
August 31, 2011 – 6:19 pm
The Pier Review team believe in complete transparency, well maybe not complete transparency, but as you may have chipped in a few quid you think you should be able to see where the money is going. It’s a humbling thing to ask for any sort of financial help, especially in a country like ours where talking about money is the social equivalent of serving your balls on a plate next to the biscuits. We have raised £695 so far (and we are grateful for all your donations large and small)
Petrol: £296.03 (based on our back of an envelope maths)
Camping: £200.00 (at about £20 per night for 10 nights)
One night in Pontins: £50.00
One night in a B&B: £40.00
Big shop : £40.00 (so theres food in the car, monster munch, pot noodles, cheap vodka – road food)
Stamps and Postcards £40.00 (for postcards to the people that chose to pledge £50 or more, which to be honest, we only offered because we thought no one would do)
Expenses £140.00 (£10 per day between the three of us – to see end of pier shows, those slidey shelves two pence machines, fish suppers, novelty hats etc)
Total – £806.0
As you can see, we are just over a hundred pounds short, we have been amazed and astounded by all of your patience and generosity so far but could we ask for one more big push to get the Crowdfunder page in front of as many people as possible? Tweet the the link, talk about the project, and use your networks.
Thanks
Danny and Jon
Image by Pete Ashton
The plan: 56 piers in two weeks…
August 24, 2011 – 12:32 am
Well, in the roughest possible terms. We’re starting from Birmingham and going to Weston (which everyone from Brum must do by law). Then it’s anti-clockwise round England and Wales to Penarth—then home. That’s 56 piers in total, in two weeks. Kick off is planned for the 12th of Sept.
We’d love to hear your stories or meet you for a pint (you’re buying) if you’re in the area on the right day. You can see our schedule and add notes for us in this Google spreadsheet (just click and add stuff!):
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